High school.
I'd survived middle school and had become a young adult.
I'd also gained a new baby sister, Hannah, and unlimited AOL again.
The new Windows computer my mom and step-dad had bought had also been a nice change of pace. The internet no longer took so long to sign on, and we'd gotten an extra phone line so that we could be on AOL while also on the phone.
We were living like kings, and I couldn't wait for the fresh start.
I'd made new best friends during my eighth grade year, and Derrick had moved away. I was still skeptical of instant messaging, but I wasn't foolish anymore. I'd learned from my mistakes and I wouldn't be repeating them, anytime soon.
Instant messaging was still something I'd used occasionally, but not often.
I'd had a cellphone by then- a tiny oval device that was a sparkly emerald and sent text messages and smiley faces.
Since I worked at my step-dad's family business, I was able to pay the bill. I felt so cool, being one of the only freshman I knew to have a cellphone plan.
Other students used those cheap Virgin Mobile phones. They had to pay for minutes and text messages.
I got free calling after 9 p.m. and five hundred text messages, all for thirty-five-dollars a month.
High school proved an endless opportunity to become something different than I'd been in elementary school. I still didn't dress like regular kids, but I did lose the bullying aspect. Since no one knew who I was in most of my classes, I'd been just another student.
Except, slightly cooler, because I had a real cellphone.
Culinary Arts became my trade class and I'd quickly met new friends. Some of them had virgin mobile cellphones so I could text them, or call them, if they had enough minutes.
One of my best friend's, Maxine, and I shared a computer class together. Along with us was my newest friend, Priscilla. Soon we became inseparable and the bane of our teacher's existence. Instead of learning computer application and typing skills, we downloaded AIM and messaged each other throughout class.
We started hanging out after school, and soon Priscilla brought her guy friends around. One of them was Ryan, and he had his sights set on me.
A year older and from a wealthy family, Ryan had a real cell phone, too. We bonded over this fact, and traded numbers. He would call me after 9 p.m., and I would text him throughout the day.
The next time we hung out, things went downhill, fast. Ryan turned out to be a pushy guy who wanted to skip getting to know each other and go right into full on relationship. I wanted to backtrack and not see him, altogether.
So I broke up with him, the only way a fourteen-year-old girl should: Over text messaging.
He didn't take it well and soon my friends Maxine and Priscilla didn't, either. They didn't care that he had been demanding or expected too much from me. All they cared about was that I'd broken his heart and done so through text messaging, like a coward.
I didn't get the big deal. It's not like he went to Somerville High with us. How else was I supposed to do it? In person? With a half-hour train ride?
No thanks.
So I waited for it to brush over. Maxine still acted like my best friend while Priscilla gave me the cold shoulder. Then one day in computer class, I saw Maxine instant messaging. Priscilla had moved to the back row, so I figured it was with her.
Maxine would glance over to my screen and ask me what I was doing. Since I'd been ostracized from the friend thing between the two of them, I actually started doing the online assignments. I knew Maxine and Priscilla were up to something...
I just didn't know what.
I'd gotten home that day and pulled out the binder full of homework assignments. I needed to research information for a history project so I hopped onto AOL, planning on going to Ask Jeeves. I saw the number on the top right-hand corner alerting to a new e-mail.
Shrugging, I'd clicked open the mailbox. An e-mail from the strangest e-mail address popped up in bold. The subject said-
The truth.
The e-mail itself was an array of different sized fonts, switching from bold to italic to color. The words, which stuck out in the text were filled with insults and criticisms about the way I'd looked. I'd been compared to at least six different animals, and not in a good way, either.
Already suffering from low self-esteem, this was not the thing to read. I'd been devastated.
For three hours I sobbed. Three hours I repeated those words. My mom and stepdad were angry and ready to go burn the house down of whomever was responsible. I'd said to let it go.
My mom had sent an email back to the person and threatened to bring this harassment to the police. The person responsible had replied almost immediately and said to go ahead.
I knew who it was. They had been sitting right next to me. My supposed friends, acting like everything was fine.
I'd discovered that cyber-bullying was a thing, and that anyone can make up fake email addresses.
I also learned that you should keep your friends close, but your cyber bullies closer, or they'd be able to destroy you.
The most important thing that I'd learned was there are solutions. I'd printed out the e-mail and taken it into school. I'd met with my department head, Mr. Disarcina, and he'd called both Maxine and Priscilla into the office.
He'd discovered the history record of the email. I'd no idea there were records.
He'd left their punishment up to me. I could tell him to suspend them for bullying and harassment, or I could be the bigger person, and settle for detention instead.
Being more forgiving than I should, I chose the latter.
I felt like retribution had been given.
The internet had torn me down, but it had also avenged me.
And so a deeper understanding of the working of the never-ending internet began.
What a beautifully troubled relationship it would be.via GIPHY
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